So normally whenever a few trusted and close friends of mine suggest somethings or offer some advice, I take it...as snobbish as I may appear, there are very few people in my life whose opinion matters to me and more suitably when it matches mine.

So I took one such advice of giving myself a week to come up with a timetable that will work for me. I dont plan to quit my job because I'll go mad if I did. the requirement from this examination is not all that much, as I understand from the way my sister is studying for her semester exams in D'school.

I have had a wonderfully relaxing life in comparison, During my masters I was travelling the world, meeting new people, making journal entries, and learning maps. I necessarily believe however that every country has its own rules, if you dont rough it out on this soil, this soil aint gonna give you back much.

So here I am, back on this soil, learning more everyday of the issues that touch millions of people in this country, and trying to make some small difference- i cant but help thinking that it is so driven of the self, that ultimately I am just thinking of my goals, and ambitions and I give it the illusion of being the 'bigger picture'.

My job makes me travel across the villages of this country, I get to see children studying in schools and make shift arrangements, receiving education, dreams of becoming doctors from the remotest parts and that inspires me.

My relatives ofcourse cant help praising me when they hear what I do...They feel that I actually go and teach these kids...this perception of theirs and the inability to comprehend even the surface problems like how could I possibly teach kids in places where the languages are so different, where dialects make all the difference, and how could I be doing anything substantial by just visiting some villages for just a few days...are questions that never cross their mind...perhaps they have seen much of this world, and lived long in this country.

Not many of them listen to what I have to say, its hardly about credibility, its just that it does not matter, because it does not touch their lives. I am not a crusader, neither a saint.

So the point is that I was told by a very dear friend that it is the darkest before dawn and if there is only failure and no light, the only way out of this is to work hard, to give your mind no space to wallow or think of things past.

Plus when nothing works, when the love of my life is exhausted after numerous trials of encouraging and motivating me on this long empty road, I turn to the words of Rabindranath Tagore - "jodi tor daak shune keyu Na aasshe tobe ekla cholo re."